1. “As you get older, three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can’t remember the other two.” – Norman Wisdom
2. “People say money is not the key to happiness, but I have always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made.” Joan Rivers
3. “I’m sick of following my dreams, man. I’m just going to ask where they’re going and hook up with ’em later.”- Mitch Hedberg
4. “Truth hurts. Maybe not as much as jumping on a bicycle with a seat missing, but it hurts.”- Lt. Frank Drebin
5. “Accept who you are. Unless you’re a serial killer.” – Ellen DeGeneres
6. “When life shuts a door … open it again. It’s a door. That’s how they work.”
7. “I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them.” – Phyllis Diller
8. “When your mother asks, ‘Do you want a piece of advice?’ it is a mere formality. It doesn’t matter if you answer yes or no. You’re going to get it anyway.” – Erma Bombeck
9. “Better days are coming. They are called: Saturday and Sunday.”
10. “An apple a day keeps anyone away if you throw it hard enough.”
Bonus #1
“Haters are just confused admirers because they can’t figure out the reason why everyone loves you.”– Jeffree Star
Bonus #2
“Laughing at our mistakes can lengthen our own life. Laughing at someone else’s can shorten it.”– Cullen Hightower
A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
Groucho Marx
LOL…Groucho was great!
When you are done with the child send the kid my way, I could use some computer help. 😉
Good one. I know some that don’t have a sense of humor and they will tell you they don’t. They are called boring humans, or as I like to say…squares that live in a circle. I like to laugh at my mistakes and even better, I like to chew myself out. Keeps the blood flowing.
We know lots of them!
If you can’t laugh in life, you haven’t lived.