Where in the world is Diogenese? You may have asked that lately, and in order to curb your curiosity. below is a bevy of possibilities of his disappearance…

1. His new giant computer monitor has fallen on him and has him trapped. Thankfully he has been able to get to his phone to order from Door Dash so he hasn’t starved to death. If only he could figure out how to wiggle his way out of his current predicament.
2. Dio has joined a cult and now lives a more simple and uncomplicated life. You can find him at the local farmer’s market on Tuesdays and Fridays, where he has been selling his own hand woven baskets and farm raised, home made goat cheese.
3. He has joined up with Cosmic for a road trip! Sadly, his moped has broken down outside of Alburquerque and they have only traveled 17 miles so far. But all hope is not lost, it is only day 3 of their adventure and I am sure someone will pick up the hitchhikers soon!
4. A shocking development where Dio has fallen into a comic strip and has been bitten by a rabid squirrel and possibly developed salmonella from a contagious duck. Reports are sketchy if he will be able to break out of one of those panels soon. Til then, beware of a crazed man foraging for nuts and quacking periodically.
5. He is currently in Las Vegas, hoping to make it big in an audition for America’s Got Talent. Cross your fingers and wish him luck!
6. He has reportedly overdosed on half priced Valentine’s candy and is in a chocolate induced coma. He has adamantly refused any help and wont’ share any of his chocolate covered caramels…(pouts).
7. He has suffered a tragic finger strain from a Dungeons and Dragons gaming marathon. We continue to keep him in our thoughts as he slowly recovers.
8. He is still updating his updates and isn’t sure of the date of his return. Til then, he asks for patience and more chocolate.
9. In a shocking turn of events, he has entered into the Witness Protection Program. He is quietly living under the name of Ira Goldstein in Toledo, Ohio as a shoe cobbler as his sole occupation….. um, perhaps I shouldn’t have mentioned all of that. Sorry Dio, I mean Ira.
10. He has seen his shadow and has gone back to bed for another 6 weeks. Sweet Dreams!

Heard a different rumor? Feel free to add them in the comments below!